Sci-Fi, Nudists and Cows
Every week, staff (and interns!) at The Inlander chose events around town to highlight in 200 words or less. It was a great exercise for an east coast journalist parachuting in for the summer, and a true baptism-by-fire into a city that locals constantly assured me “doesn’t suck.”
COMEDY EAT PRAY FART
Best known for his roles as a loveable agoraphobic, Dance Dance Revolution champion, or unsavory troublemaker on roller skates, Nick Swardson’s performances in The Benchwarmers, Grandma’s Boy and Comedy Central’s Reno 911! have enshrined him as one of comedy’s most irreverent, boisterous, flatulent superstars. He’s a staple at Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions, where he’s acted, produced and written for movies including Grown Ups and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. His first stand-up tour, “Seriously Who Farted,” sprayed the audience with uncensored, delightfully middle school-ish bathroom jokes. Whether it’s reenacting an attack from a psycho housecat, imagining the world’s first brain freeze, or trying to take belligerently drunk friends through a drive through, Swardson’s unashamed act is sure to leave the club less mature, less uptight and a little less self-conscious.
MUSIC BACH IS BACK
Northwest Bachfest serenades Manito Park again this July with an eclectic program of international beauty. Attendees can wine and dine on luxurious lawns before soaking in world class music. Spokane hosts Isa Najem, award winning composer of the soundtrack to the acclaimed 2019 short Florence. Najem is a Bahraini cellist who specializes in the oud, an Arabic pear-shaped lute with eleven strings. Najem opens the evening as a soloist on this ancient instrument. Next, violinist Helen Hwaya Kim takes the stage with Vivaldi’s famous TheFour Seasons, accompanied by a string chamber group that includes Najem on cello. To close the program, the Judy Carmichael Trio, featuring Grammy-nominated jazz pianist Judy Carmichael of NPR fame, delights the audience with swing and blues. Purchase a table for eight, or fill your evening with rhythms of worlds near and far, melodies from eras young and old, all from the comfort of your favorite picnic blanket.
SPORTS HEAVEN ON EARTH
What is perfection? Mountain biking, trail running, kayaking and a beer garden, probably. Spokatopia is paradise for the athlete or outdoors enthusiast, bringing together gear demos, friendly competitions, live music, a hammock garden and free swag for the perfect day of play. Test drive a Pivot mountain bike, pedal a new Hydrofoiler on the Spokane River, join a morning yoga class or shuttle to the top of Sekani. A beginner-friendly 5k trail run races before the festivities—all runners get extra goodies plus access to every activity the festival offers. Attendees who bike to Spokatopia (via the Centennial Trail) can store their bicycles in a safe corral and are entered for extra prizes throughout the day. Loungers are especially welcome and encouraged to test out camping gear and yard games set out by REI. However you define a good place, you can probably find your spot at Spokatopia.
MOVIES CULT CLASSICS
Ever feel numbed by megahit blockbusters? Don’t fall prey to Hollywood brainwashing. Revive your imagination with the most recent installment of the Garland Theater’s Summer Camp series, They Live, an uncannily prophetic sci-fi film from John Carpenter. Test out your own sunglasses and get ready for the best fight scene of your life. Then, make sure to come back for the rest of the summer series, which will continue screening throwbacks throughout the summer on Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. The retro theater will show Stand By Me, Rob Reiner’s take on Stephen King’s The Body, in July, and close out the summer with Frank Ford Coppolla’s classic The Outsiders. After the films, grab a cocktail at the bar but keep a sharp eye out for any subliminal messaging to OBEY.
SPORTS GOALS FOR PEACE
Sport is a global unifier. No one believes this more wholeheartedly than the International Military Sports Council (CISM), founded in France after World War II to use sport as a vessel for peace. Instead of meeting on the battlefield, soldiers play on the sports field together, not as enemies, but as friends. This year, Fairchild Air Force Base is hosting the CISM Women’s Military World Cup, hosting ten soccer teams from four continents. Athletes from the US, Belgium, Cameroon, Canada, France, Germany, Ireland, Mali, the Netherlands and South Korea have come to compete, playing two matches per day until the final Championship round on Friday evening. All games, including the gold medal match, are free and open to the public at Union Stadium. The first Women’s Military Football Championship was held 20 years ago and had just four teams — Germany, the Netherlands, Canada and the US, who won gold. Come cheer on the footballers competing for the championship, and join the Fairchild Air Force Base in strengthening healthy, exciting international partnerships with all the teams involved.
SPORTS RUNNING FREE
Looking for an introduction to road racing? Run a 5K. Looking for an introduction to nudism? Also run a 5K — the Bare Buns Fun Run, that is. Kaniksu Ranch, eastern Washington’s own nudist resort, is hosting its annual clothing-optional 5K run/walk on the last Sunday in July. You don’t have to run fast and you don’t have to look good naked. In fact, the resort relaxes its nude-only policy to allow runners and spectators to wear however much, or little, they want. Participants come from all over the world to run chafe-free. Spend the entire weekend at the resort to enjoy all-natural camping, meals and dance parties. The only requirement is that you have fun, celebrate your body, and leave your camera in the car.
SPORTS GOOD CRAIC
Maybe you’re one of the 3% of Spokanites with Scottish heritage. Or maybe you’re part of the 97% who love Scotch, shortbread and fuzzy cows. Either way, “we’re a’ Jock Tamson’s bairns,” (translated: we’re all created equal) and everyone is welcome at this year’s Scottish Highland Games. For one day, the fairgrounds will be dedicated to preserving and celebrating Scottish culture. Take a gander at hulking feats of athleticism, country dancing demonstrations, baking competitions, Robert Burns poetry readings, and a shepherding exhibition. Be aware that all athletes must compete in kilt and long hose to be eligible for awards. See beautiful “hielan’ coos” (Highland cows) and Clydesdale horses while you listen to traditional bagpipe marches and piobaireachd. The Games will open with the most deeply entrenched ritual — a Scottish v. Irish tug of war. But all is fun and games, and no matter what you’ll be able to turn to your neighbor at the end of the day to wish them good fortune: “Lang may yer lum reek!”
